This week we've been stressing over preschool options for you this fall. Did I really just type preschool? Oh my goodness! You'll start kindergarten in just over a year and be gone forever! Of course, your daddy laughs at me when I say that but the thought of you starting school makes me cry in ways I never expected. It has been an absolute joy to stay home with you the past four years and get you all to myself. Sure I shared you with the world in small, one hour at a time ways but we have been full time buddies for four long years that suddenly seem like the shortest four years of my life. I selfishly want to keep this time with you going forever, keeping you at home with me until you are at least 30 but don't worry, I love you too much to be able to do anything that I don't think is best for you.
I am going to miss you. You starting schooling of any kind marks the beginning of me letting go. Sure, it'll start off a few hours a day but I'm no fool. I've seen firsthand how quickly four years of loving you goes by. Before I blink, four more will pass and you'll be eight, in school full time and headed off to slumber parties to be away from us overnight. Four more after that and you'll be 12, starting to think of dating and terrifying your poor father. Another four and you'll be 16 and dying to get away from us--from me. The thought of you ever not wanting to be right by my side breaks my heart and yet I know that's how it works.
I see it all coming. It's the way of children to grow up. My mind knows it and yet my heart breaks at the truth. Your poor mommy. I'm crying about you going to preschool and it doesn't happen for months yet! I really should be more thankful for this extra year with you. Last fall you were clearly not ready for preschool. While everyone else seemed to be starting at three, we knew you and knew it wasn't your time. Maybe that's the hard thing now....I see you changing so much. I know without a doubt you'll be ready this fall.
I don't want to forget a moment of the fun we've had together but I know you and I both will. Let me tell you about them now so we won't forget some of the great things about this time!
Your biggest area of growth this year was your language skills without a doubt. The past 3 months have been the most amazing. You are exploding every day with new language. I think back to that original post I made where I was crying, worried for your lack of progress and I am so grateful for the child who is now talking enough to drive me crazy and even starting to talk back a bit! Forgive us but when you talk back to us, your daddy and I will sneak a smile at each other because you finally can.
I've always started my mornings with you by saying "Good morning sunshine!" and get the biggest grin now when I hear you get up, your dog goes running in to greet you and you say to Riley, "Good morning sun-shine!" While we're on the topic of sleep, let me tell you--girl, you have changed! For three very long years I have endured your erratic sleep schedule. We tried everything to get you on track. The first two years you would go to bed at 1 a.m., sleep until 10, then the next night go to bed at 10 and sleep until 9, etc. I never knew when I would get sleep and we couldn't get you on a schedule to save our lives! You turned four and suddenly you go to bed between 7 and 8:30. You wake up between 6 and 7:07. Yes, you get up by 7:07 every day of the week now! It's such a change I think my body is still in shock.
Yesterday morning you came in to wake me. You shook me saying "Wake up mama!" I told you with a smile, "No....mommy tired. Let me sleep just a little bit longer." You reasoned "WAKE UP!! Sun up mommy." Yes, you refused to go to bed with the time change a week or two ago because the sun was still up just a little bit and now your argument on why I should get up is the sun is up. Suddenly the sun rules your world and you see it very black and white.
You have learned that words have power and intend to use that power whenever you can. Your favorite place to eat is pancakes at the train car diner here. The employees know that you chose to go there for your special birthday meal, often blow the whistle for you, and think you are the cutest thing ever! You tell me "I HUNgry. Go train. Pancakes. Mommy, tummy pancakes." If we haven't been there in the last week, I usually say yes. You are thrilled. When we took you there for your birthday, they sang happy birthday to you and your face was so full of joy we've decided to take you out for your birthday every year. You loved everyone in the whole place singing to you. Your other favorite place is ChuckECheese and we go about twice a month with Seth and his mommy. You seem to wish it was your second home!
Last night I was making a Greek chicken recipe and you looked into my pan and said "C'mon mommy. Let's go! Go car. Where McDonalds? McDonalds missing!" Evidently you thought chicken nuggets sounded better.
When you talk back you are too cute for words. I'll send you to your room and you'll say "No mommy. I SAID NO!" If I make you really angry because I make you go to your room after all, you'll say "Get out of here mommy. Mommy go to your room!" Um....okay but that's not really a punishment to mommy I think and smile to myself. When you are that upset and in trouble, you start talking to your dog saying over and over "I know Riley! I know!" as if she is the only one in the world who understands your pain. Aww..sweet girl. Mama knows your pain and how upset you are. You still cannot choose to throw spaghetti all over the kitchen.
Like any kid who has been really speech delayed, you have a mild problem with hitting instead of using your words. You get frustrated if another kid doesn't listen to you and then you hit them. It only happens every few months and last week was one of those times. You go to the daycare at the gym for an hour a day and were very tired that day. When I took you home, you were crying because I told you it was wrong and you started saying over and over again "I so sad mommy. I so sad!" I said "Well, good you are sad because you are probably sorry, too." You immediately adjusted to say "I so sorry mommy!" There's never much need to punish you because in general you feel so badly when you do wrong--how could I punish you worse than you punish yourself?
You pick up new language fast now, including things I don't want repeated. About two weeks ago, I got so frustrated with Riley. She seemed to be barking out the window all day nonstop. I finally yelled in exasperation "RILEY SHUT UP!" You copied without hesitation. Now whenever you are frustrated with your dog I hear your little voice yell "RILEYSHUTUP!" as if it was one long powerful word. Oh my. I keep prompting you to say "Riley please be quiet" but so far you aren't adopting the new phrase as quickly as you did the first. Your absolute cutest phrase, without a doubt is "OH MY GOODNESS MOMMY!" or "OH MY GOODNESS DADDY!" or "OH MY GOODNESS RILEY!" If something is very funny to you, you'll say each one in succession until we say back "Oh my goodness, Gracie!"
You've become a mini me. You woke up late last week and came out to find me working on a pattern design. You grabbed paper and crayons and scissors and got to work, holding your designs up to fabric, etc. So cute! It's not just me you copy. Your daddy is studying for his big engineering license test and you'll say "I need book. Be right back." You run to the office and grab one of your books, come back and get paper and pen and start looking at your book, then writing on paper as if the Berenstain Bears have all the equations you need. Love it!
Oh! You aren't intollerant of blueberries or strawberries anymore! Hooray! As you say "Mmmm...blueberries delicious!" It's opened up a whole new world of fruit salad, blueberry muffins (you devour them 3 at a time), blueberry pancakes, etc. You decided you loved pineapple as well. We had you tested at 3 and found you weren't allergic but intollerant of carrots, grapes/raisins, all berries, and bananas. It has made feeding you a variety of foods a challenge. It didn't help that for nearly the past year you've been such a picky eater. You liked chicken nuggets, spaghetti, pancakes, apples, cream of mushroom soup, miso soup, peanut butter & jelly and cereal. That was about it. We ended up starting you on pediasure every day to help supplement your poor diet. I couldn't believe with all the amazing meals I love to cook, my child was anti-variety when it came to food. Thankfully you are starting to branch out finally! Hooray for progress!
You have always helped in the kitchen but lately you are becoming quite the sous chef. You have learned to smell herbs before using them and are trying hard to learn their names. You've fallen in love with Ratatouille the movie and a Strawberry Shortcake dvd where she and her friends host a cooking show. Now when you see me cooking, you'll grab your cook book and advise me. It's always "1 sugar, 1 flour, 1 anilla (vanilla), and 1 egg. Now stir mommy." You'll set up your play mixer and food on chairs in the dining room and host a cooking show, which I am forever thankful to have caught a bit of on camera. You aren't always big on performing. When you see the camera, sometimes you seem to get embarrassed and stop.
Speaking of performing, you are loving to sing. The Madagascar 3 movie has the Katy Perry song Firework. You love it! You also love the song Polkadot circus from there, the theme song to Fraggle Rock and the song Number 9 (also featured on Fraggle Rock). In the car, you'll have me sing along sometimes as you belt a number out, usually the Firework song. Your daddy put the Madagascar 3 soundtrack on your Innotab and some nights instead of going to bed we've found you acting out the whole movie, even the instrumental songs. It is so unbelievably adorable. You hate getting caught so we try and sneak a quick peek when we can. When you sing, I'm only allowed to sing along sometimes. I never know until I try. Sometimes you get even happier and belt it out louder and other times you tell me "No mommy. STOP." Gee...thanks. Here is a picture I caught of you when you were supposed to be in bed. Instead you were singing and wearing this getup:
In general, you are the sweetest little girl. You picked me a bunch of dead flowers outside for Valentine's day. You even dug in my hutch for my nicest vase to put them in. You said "For you, for me. Flowers for you. Happy Valentine Day!"
I need to tell you about the sleep mask. Miss Jenn gave you a sleep mask from their airplane trip to New Zealand this past month and you actually use it! You'll be in bed sometimes and yell out "Oh no! Where mask? Mask missing!" It makes you happy and gets you to lay down and go to sleep so of course I help you find it. You wearing it from time to time is the funniest thing ever though!
By the way, you are in love with princesses and princes. You will stalk me around the house for months now wanting to play either with your little people princes and princesses or your Barbie style ones. I am always the prince. Always. Any attempt to play with a princess and you stare like you can't even compute my choice for a few moments then say "Uh uh, mommy. HERE." and shove the prince in my face relentlessly until I give in. There are always 2 scenarios. 1) The princesses just take turns kissing the prince (your daddy isn't fond of that story line!) and 2) Someone needs rescued because they are about to fall off the couch (a cliff) or because a scary monster (usually a crocodile) are after them.
You love your grandparents and to you right now there is only one set of them. We've tried to explain otherwise but you only see Nana and Papa once a year for a day or two. Grandma and Grandpa (you call him Papa) are in love with you as much as we are and oh how you love them. They sent you a picture of the 3 of you together and you keep it close to your bed. At night I can hear you say "Good night Grandma! Good night Papa!" and it is the cutest. You really thrive when we get to see them and miss them terribly. We would love to move closer to them and are working on it. In the meantime, you talk to them on the phone & when either side of grandparents send a present, Grandma & Papa get the credit. You say "Grandma presents" sometimes, which makes us all laugh, especially since Grandma really is all about giving you presents!
You have an awesome sense of humor that brings joy to our lives daily. I have to share this post I made in September 2012: Moments staying home with Grace are truly priceless. Take this morning: she smoothed playdough out on the table & I turned around to find her lifting her dress, turning & squatting onto the table so she could make butt prints in the playdoh. She caught me looking & laughed saying "I'm a silly goose!" I could only laugh, too, & decide she can't play with a copier until she's 30. :)
I have so much more to tell you but I'm afraid this post will be too long to publish! I will close this one and start a new one. There is so much I don't want us to forget!
Love you,
Mommy
